I try to aid others, and not to be a burden, I never ask them to get involved in my matters. I… I try not to covet, either, but I can’t… I can’t help… [Oh how often he’s wished he could be rid of his feelings. Ignoring them never did make them disappear, unfortunately.] Believe me, it’s like a curse, being in love with someone you can never have… [But it doesn’t stop there at all and it truly bothers him that Leonie knows this now. She’s seen things he’s never allowed anyone else to see before, and how horrifying that the one person who knows him best… is her. He covets so much he can never have, Cecil’s entire life, basically.]

[As always, Kain scowls at her use of her name for him, but he can’t really escape it, so he’s give up even fighting her on it. He’s more appalled at himself and what he’s just said. It had been an instant of slipping, of giving in to the side of him that longs to be chained and bound, that’s almost disturbingly aroused in a sense by the notion of forsaking all control forever to be a mere puppet, a pawn, a tool. He wants it bad and he’s so glad they’re separated by distance right now, or else she’d know the extent of how deep that craving goes.]

What’s so wrong with wanting acceptance? I ask no one else to carry my burdens as I’ve said, but… if there were some means to lighten the load… there’s nothing wrong with that… I do not want to be anyone’s puppet.