It’s never noble to lie down and die without a fight. It’s always better to fight, to keep battling, to go down with a weapon in your hand. I would never wither away like you’re suggesting. [Kain is shaking his head, the usual denial coming up instantly, without even thinking much of it.] No, I… I don’t. I don’t want to take his place, I don’t, I don’t...
[But he does and always has, and probably always will. He can never be as good as Cecil, never be as admired or loved, never hope to aspire to reach him. Not even close. Kain hates himself for those failings, but he hates himself most for having this jealousy in the first place. Envy, his worst sin...]
It’s not like that! I’m not as black and awful as you say! It’s not true, it’s not… I’ve never corrupted anyone… I may wish that I could be as good as some others, and I try to live up to that… but I’m not… so horrible… Please. You must be wrong. There must be some good in me, there must… Isn’t that supposed to be a sign I’m still good, still redeemable? That I still strive and fight to reach the light?
[Something he might never reach, no matter how high he jumps.]
no subject
[But he does and always has, and probably always will. He can never be as good as Cecil, never be as admired or loved, never hope to aspire to reach him. Not even close. Kain hates himself for those failings, but he hates himself most for having this jealousy in the first place. Envy, his worst sin...]
It’s not like that! I’m not as black and awful as you say! It’s not true, it’s not… I’ve never corrupted anyone… I may wish that I could be as good as some others, and I try to live up to that… but I’m not… so horrible… Please. You must be wrong. There must be some good in me, there must… Isn’t that supposed to be a sign I’m still good, still redeemable? That I still strive and fight to reach the light?
[Something he might never reach, no matter how high he jumps.]